gloom and doom

[jcd1013]

I'm having one of those pathetic days, where I feel gloom and depressed and completely alone. It's not like things have been difficult right now... Work wise, things are going well, easy schedule (well, I start jeopardy call in the morning, so things at least have the potential of becoming more hairy), and I'm enjoying working with my colleagues. Even the resident that I've despised is more tolerable now and we've actually had one or two pleasant conversations. (It's all a facade, but whatever).

But then I come home, and while I enjoy living alone, right now, I feel lonely. One of the good friends that I've made here moved to Utah this week for her residency, and because of an alarm clock fluke, I didn't get to say a proper goodbye. Two of my co-interns in Neurology are leaving, one because he got married to a girl who refused to move, the other because of health concerns, and they're my buddies. I just found out about one of them this week and since he's ignoring my phone calls/emails, well... You all know how much I despise change, and to be confronted with all of this at the same time, I guess it's no surprise that all I've wanted to do is crawl into bed and stay there.

We won't even mention the loathing/disgust/longing mix that's associated with the few potential boys in my life. I'm too bitter right now.

I have 3 posts about my sister's wedding started, that I've never finished. Maybe tomorrow...

Comments

[stephantasy.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[jcd1013.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

Thanks. Today was somewhat better. :)

And oh, I love that icon!

[kimarama.livejournal.com]

Awww hon. I'm sorry you're in a down patch. Everyone goes through those. It might be a good weekend to find a comfy chair in a busy coffee shop and just hang out there for awhile. It's a nice way to get out of the house if you're in an area where you don't know many people (I used to do this in Ireland). ...and here's a big *hug* for you.

[jcd1013.livejournal.com]

Aw, Kim, thanks!

*squeezes*

It's been a long time since I did that. Must find some time this weekend. There's this awesome tea shop in SLC that I used to veg out at/study/people watch. They carried all kinds of bridal magazines for some odd unknown reason. I haven't found one like that here.

When were you in Ireland??? I just got back a week ago or so, did ja know? It was gorgeous and lovely and I miss it.

[kimarama.livejournal.com]

I was in Ireland from Nov 2000 through May 2001. I wasn't there the entire time but traveling back and forth for work. I had a consulting assignment for an American web hosting firm that had opened a location in Dublin... well, Blanchardstown, really. I was supposed to be there for 2 weeks and then home for 2 weeks but it didn't work out that way. I found myself routinely spending a month in Dublin all the time.

Honestly, it was really hard to be there. Ireland in Winter is a harsh cold place. It's dark too, as the sun doesn't rise until 10:00 am and sets at 3:00 pm. Plus, it rained almost every day (it's the Emerald Isle because things are green. Things are green because it's so wet.) I worked 12-14 hours a day, including weekends because my firm was technically out of its depth. My memories of Ireland have a lot to do with hard work, loneliness, and bad food. lol. I always hesitate to engage when people have travel to Dublin on vacation because they're bubbling over with love for it and I hate to poo-poo all over their enthusiasm (which is why it took me so long to respond to you.)

That said, I did have some wonderful times there. I know Dublin like the back of my hand and found a wonderful hotel in Ballsbridge where I "lived" during my stay. The staff took prodigious care of me and I saw a host of celebrities at the hotel (the Coors, Gabriel Burne, to name a few). I can see how people would love it. ;-)

[jcd1013.livejournal.com]

I, um, hated Dublin. "Hate" is probably a little strong, but I'm not a big city fan. Or rather, I'm only a big city fan when they act coy and pretend that they're not a big city. You know, decorate themselves with trees and parks, so for a moment you think you're relaxing in the middle of Nowhere, rather than next to the cemete jungle. But once I got out of the city and into the country, I fell in love with the place. :) But I can understand why it was so depressing for you.

Did you get autographs or did you act sauve and just nod in their direction?

[ex-twilight639.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry things have been going like this lately. *hug* I wonder if you know how many times you've been an inspiration to me.

[jcd1013.livejournal.com]

Oh things really are okay. I just have lonely periods that really get me down.

And thanks. That's very sweet (and a little intimidating)

[ex-twilight639.livejournal.com]

Don't be intimidated, I just find those that can do what I never had the guts to even try.. impressive. (I mean that you're a doctor)

I was single and away from my family and everyone for several years, it was hard, I remember. Hang in there.. you're amazing!

[claidheamhmor]

Have some {{{hugs}}}