where i've been
Friday night, I sat vigil at two of my patients' bedsides, as their sick-but-stable status turned into sick sick sick. I poured fluids into their veins and started them on medications to attempt to keep their blood pressures high. I worried and fretted and worried some more. I kept them alive that night, but by morning, they were even sicker. I cried that morning even before rounds with the attending, not having slept, but knowing that I should have done something more. Hindsight, that perfect microscope, tells me that I should have placed arterial lines and expanded antibiotic coverage. I should have intubated one of them sooner. Maybe it would have made a difference. But things weren't so clear at three in the morning and even 5 days later, it's still not entirely clear.
They're both dying right now. I'll probably end up declaring their deaths tomorrow on call.
It's been a hard month, in varying shades of good and bad. It's been a busy month, a month that hasn't left a lot of time for recollection and organization of thoughts. I'll hopefully be back to regular posting come September.
They're both dying right now. I'll probably end up declaring their deaths tomorrow on call.
It's been a hard month, in varying shades of good and bad. It's been a busy month, a month that hasn't left a lot of time for recollection and organization of thoughts. I'll hopefully be back to regular posting come September.
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