I dreamed about Africa the other night, that I was back in the hospital. It's been just over a year since I came back. I was talking to Chris last night, who's on his journey across the world again (I think he should have arrived in New Zealand now), and will be going to Kenya for a month in March, and I was trying to tell him about all of the people and the cultures.... and realized that I had forgotten. Names, mostly, of the people that I had met. They've come back to me now, after sitting here and scrouging around for the faces. Lenai. Shawn. Raj. Liz. Leigh Anne and Karla. Time moves so quickly, and before you know it even the brightest, most cherished memories begin to fade.
I'm almost 2/3rd of the way through intern year, and I am so tired. Bone weary. This is my fourth month of Q4 call, of admissions and discharges, of early mornings and long rounds, and I'm just tired. Not to mention, I got three emails, questioning my professionalism yesterday (they were directed at a group, not just me), that pissed me off. I had one of my clinic patient's mom call and yell at me (I managed to remain logical, she calmed down and listened to me). I argued with a patient today. I'm usually very good with my patients, I try to be compassionate, but he started yelling at me the moment I stepped into the door, so I was much more blunt and hard than I usually am... and predictably, it did not go well. I left in the middle of another one of his tirades, just turned around and walked out. Didn't apologize or nothing. :( Not good.
I miss traveling. One of the med neuro residents here just got back from a rotation in Zambia, where he worked in a neurology clinic, but really ended up doing everything that they asked for (the stories he tells of taking care of trauma patients after a bus accident!), and all I can think is "I wanna do that!" Make a difference, rather than just feeling like I'm the drug dealer for the patients with pain "crises" and serious drug addictions.
Chris left yesterday for another 3 month stent across the globe, this time to New Zealand and Australia, then to Kenya for the same rotation that I did, down to South Africa for an overland trip that sounds amazing, and finally to Ireland, where we'll met up (with his parents. Did I tell you that development? I like his parents, they're very nice people, but it's already hard enough explaining to people that you're going on vacation with your very platonic friend, without getting parents mixed in). Three whole months of traveling. Bet you couldn't tell I was jealous. :)
Speaking of Africa, this story is amazing: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070220/ap_on_re_af/running_the_sahara
. I've been reading their blog at National Geographic (why did it not dawn on me that it would be a website as well), and it's quite fascinating
And still speaking of Africa, would my dear African friends like to meet/host Chris for a few days while he's down there visiting your country? He'll be traveling in and out of Jo'berg Aprilish and in need of a good time and friendly faces. Obviously, I understand not rushing out to welcome people you don't know and haven't even "met", and that you have jobs and real lives, but I figure I'd dangle a little carrot and remind melancthe
that he's pretty cute and see if she'd bite. ;)
It is amusing me, however, when I picture explaining to him how I know you... and how you are aware of his existence. Yep, still haven't "come out of the closet" with the blog to him. :) I guess this will really be my chance.
Okay, to bed. One of my precious days off tomorrow, and I will not squander it!