reminder

Jan. 2nd, 2006 11:46 pm
jcd1013: (Default)
Note to self: the next time you think that hanging out with the current crush at the grocery store is a great way to get him to really notice you, remember the $96 bill, the peach cobbler that won't fit in your freezer, the bruise on your ankle from crashing the cart into you (must you always be so clumsy??) and the lonely drive home, after he left to go on a dinner date with another girl.

In some ways, it was worth it. Great conversation about life and houses and favorite food, lots of laughs, minimal (was there any?) uncomfortable silence, fabulous, lingering hugs (how did I get into a hugging relationship with him?? I swore I'd never do that again!), etc. Even the bit where he left for his date--a girl from the internet he just talked to for the first time yesterday--I would have found amusing if it wasn't him and the utter frustration that he is just so oblivious. Or not interested, which still sucks.

The New New Year's Resolutions:
1. Get some courage, Cowardly Lion.
or
2. GET OVER IT!

It's one or the other, girlfriend, and it's time to choose. *nods head*

Have I told you I'm really bad at New Years resolutions?

Ahoy!

Sep. 20th, 2005 12:27 am
jcd1013: (Default)
Arrr, maties, tis ye ol' sea wench, hear to remind ye, that this day dar be "Talk Like a Pirate Day", so ye scum bett'r be a'growlin'. Best ya smartly visit this here site and learn'd you Piratey lessons or risk bein' a lubber.

:)

Just an excuse to post really, but I'm so glad that I actually caught it this year!

Things are going better. With Chris's help of connecting me to the right secretary (never underestimate the power of an excellent secretary) and much groveling, begging forgiveness and promising to not let my responsibilities slip again, I managed to salvage (I think) my letter of recommendation. I have a bad feeling that it won't be so full of praise and gushings as it would have been a week ago, but I'm settling for what I can get. Hopefully, it'll be enough.

I had an excellent weekend. Friday night was the annual All-School Picnic. Hard to believe that I've now attended my last picnic-- I felt old there, the old model about to be phased out. I didn't have any interest in meeting the first years, when in years past, I had a great time meeting new people. I did have an unexpected encounter with a particular crush, which, as always, occurred when I was not prepared for even the possibility, and therefore left me feeling awkward, unsocial, unattractive, and blah. And yes, since I am now in full denial mode and have imagined it away, we're keeping it vague. But you can probably all figure out who anyway (and the picture below should have left no doubt!) Bah.

I spent much of the rest of the weekend with Chris. After not seeing him for more than about an hour for weeks, it was like old times and I just had a great time. I've really missed my friend. His life is more and more drifting away from mine--I found out that he's moving in with his fiancee and future in-laws in a week, something that he neglected to tell me--and in just a few short months, we're going to be thousands of miles apart. So we hung out with friends Friday night after the picnic (and managed to avoid talking about medicine for two and a half hours! A record!) and went shopping together at the outdoor store garage sale (I bought a tent! Whee!) and went to two movies on Saturday, Just Like Heaven (very cute. Sappy of course, and the medical parts of it made me groan, but I was a sucker for it) and An Unfinished Life (which would have been greatly improved by the absence of JLo. And Ellie [livejournal.com profile] shirerain: Your boy was in it! Of course he played the wife-beater villain and had a sneer on his face much of the time, but I can see a little why you like him. :) Damian looks a little like Seth Green. Hopefully this will mean that there will be more pics around of him for you!). It was such a blast and just what I needed to recharge my batteries a little.

It's my last week on Peds Neuro. I've really enjoyed working with the kids, but it has confirmed my decision that Peds is not for me. I love working with the kids (except when they're 3 and stubborn and won't touch your finger when you ask them too!), but the parents can be quite overwhelming (it's funny how different people can get when they're seeking medical help for their kids rather than themselves), and I've had some heartbreaking cases with some pretty sick kids. So it's adults for me.

And lastly, your opinion... picture quiz! )

*sigh* I think I may have carried this fascination with picturing me as Anne a little too far, don't you think? And worse, I don't think that my conscious brain was even aware of it. Gah.

And by the way the latest pic of me )

Night all. *HUGS*
jcd1013: (LOST-serenade by bluesuzanne)
Dear Santa Claus,

I do hope you're doing well. I was a little bit worried because I hadn't heard any response from my letter last January (exactly 9 months ago), but [livejournal.com profile] bjorks_defender assured me that I probably caught you on your much needed vacation in the Caribbean, and that it probably got lost in the post-Christmas complaints. So I thought I'd better check in, and see how you and the elves were doing with creating me that boyfriend.

I have to admit, I've been a little bit disappointed. Right after I wrote you, Matt took center stage in my awareness, and I was certain that you were moulding him for me. He seemed exactly like my specifications--you even gave him intense blue eyes that sparkled when he look at me, just me! But disappointment followed disappointment, and before I realized it, another girl had claimed him as her present. I don't know what she bribed you with (I gave you cheese! That's what the commercial said you liked best!), but Santa, I expected better than that from you. I don't want to hear that she was just breaking him in for me and that he's free now--I'm not sure that I'm desperate for hand-me-downs.

But perhaps I'm being to hasty in judgment. Perhaps, you have been working hard with your little elves in Santa's Workshop and are not ready to reveal him until he's perfect. If that's the case, I'll be patient and wait until Christmas. Maybe. Going to God is seeming like a good alternative right now.

In any case, we do have a deadline coming up. Remember, there's only 3 and a half months before Christmas--I won't be very understanding if he's late.

Lots of love,

Julia
jcd1013: (Default)
Can I join half of my flist in guy woes?

I feel pathetically female (not the good way) and weak. All because a rush of heartburn when I saw Matt today with that big, honest grin that I'm delusional enough to think that he only gives me. And when he hugged me after I asked how his father was doing, well, that just about did me in.

I know he has a girlfriend (I think? I haven't seen her around in weeks.) I know that I've been here before and logically, I know that past experiences have shown that he. is. not. interested. in. me. I know that.

And yet...

*sigh, sigh, sigh*

And you know what would really help in getting over this perpetual crush?? If there was ONE single guy in the ORs that I work with. Just one. A doctor, a resident, a scrub tech, a nurse, a janitor, heck a products salesman. I don't even care if he's that cute--all he needs is pretty eyes, since with the hats, masks and gowns, that's all I see anyway.

That cute doctor that I worked with last fall is around again and still looking beautiful. Maybe I should find more reasons to just "conveniently" be around the floor when he's there.

Speaking of him, does anybody know what the title of "Not as Cute as Pushkin" from GG is talking about. Because it gives me giggles, since that's cute doctor's name. :) Funny, huh?

And let me tell you, you've never experienced overnight call, until it's just you and the resident around--and she comes down with food poisoning. Yesterday was an adventure, to say the least. :) Surgery has definitely been a growing process in ways that I had never imagined.

And speaking of surgery, rounds start early tomorrow, so it's off to bed to get my 6.5 hours. Four more days!!!
jcd1013: (Joseph Campbell Bliss by Fileg)
It's been one of those days/weeks. I got a parking ticket today. I was late for rounds this morning--rounds that I had to present at, and decided to risk parking in visitor parking, and got caught. *sigh* My wallet was already looking very pitiful....

It's also been one of those weeks where I've been doing a lot of thinking--not a good combination with little sleep. But it's something that I need to get down on paper, so *gestures*. Three things happened this weekend--and for being on call on Saturday and Sunday, and not one of them being work related, that's pretty impressive--three things that started this rumination. I guess to have a better understanding, a little back history is needed.

The Plethora, Chris, and The Boy )

Everwood was phenomenal. I think I'm still weak in the knees. Becks, there's clips up already at http://www.shippwrecked.org/somethingmore/--medium quality, but I'm hoping that they'll be posting some good ones somewhere soon. I'm holding you to that video!

Tomorrow is (hopefully) my last call night at the ICU. It's been a rather incredible experience, and I've learned so much. Friday, I'll have to do a big post, summarizing my experiences. Remind me.

The Guys

Apr. 22nd, 2005 12:31 am
jcd1013: (Ewan McGregor by ragingquietly)
Taken from [livejournal.com profile] donnazita. It's all her fault!

If you could say something to ten guys in your past, what would you say?


The guys in Julia's life )
jcd1013: (Default)
Heart, don't fail me now. Courage, don't desert me.

*picks up phone*



ETA: Negative, Ghostrider, that pattern's full.

He has to work.
jcd1013: (Default)
For the past six, seven, eight months, I've had a little *something* for a guy at my church. I would love to think that at 26, I'm old enough to be beyond crushes, but apparently not. This has had all of those classic symptoms: hyperawareness of every person he's talking to (especially anyone who's of the female persuasion), non-stop blabbering with any conversation, waking up just a little bit earlier to make sure I put on contacts and mascara (yes, there is a girl buried deep inside!).

Yeah. I'm smitten. With yet another Matt. *shakes head*

Tonight, while working on my presentation for tomorrow and watching The Amazing Race, I flipped channels and watched an old, favorite episode of M*A*S*H, where Hawkeye and Trapper pull yet another prank on Frank. It's an early episode, I think from the first season, and one that I've probably seen a dozen times.

And it hit me, just before they switched to commercials. When he smiles, Matt looks exactly like a (much much!) younger version of Alan Alda. Spitting image, down to the cocky brow raise.

Disturbing. I think I've even squished me out.
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