jcd1013: (Anne - Redheaded snippet)

I had lunch with Chris yesterday. I think I mentioned in my sum-up post from January that he had gotten into the surgical critical care fellowship here. We don’t work together at all, although both of our ICUs are right next to each other due to ongoing hospital construction, so there is some hall passing on occasion. I was kinda looking forward to bossing him around. ;)

Things have changed in the 12 years since we’ve became friends. He got married (an event that still hurts to think about how much I was excluded). He has a 1 year old son. We went from seeing each other every single day for nearly 3 years to barely talking on the phone once a year (part of that was definitely me avoiding and licking wounds). So I was understandably nervous about having him in the same state again. Overall, it’s been nice.  I’ve been over to their house for dinner a couple of times and had lunch with Gretchen and Oliver once (a very brief meeting in the cafeteria, mostly spent in preventing a runaway). Chris and I meet for lunch a couple times a month, depending on our schedules. And there’s no denying that I have missed my friend. There are very few people who just understand me and unexpected hallway hugs after a tough family conference are just soul-saving and precious.

Anyway, he is currently interviewing for attending positions across the country. He interviewed at Utah and the interviews went well and they seemed to like each other. He’s got a potential interview here at OHSU. Both would really be a great start to his career with support for research.

His wife wants him to go back to Wisconsin and take a private practice job.

I wanted to laugh at him. Because I could have told him that he was going to get into this 5 years ago when they were in the middle of dating. She was saying then that she loved the idea of raising her family in Wisconsin, because that’s where her folks and her sisters lived, and that she was trying to convince him to not pursue public health because she didn’t want to raise her kids in a foreign country. She went to Boston because it was a short term gig. She came out here because it was only a year. He didn’t ask me then; I didn’t offer because  I like Gretchen quite a lot; she’s a heck of a lot more patient about some of his personality ticks than I am.

His marriage. He gets to have this fight. They’ll figure it out. I didn’t offer any advice, just listened. I don’t know what our friendship is going to look like in the future, but I’m glad for these few moments to connect again.

jcd1013: (misc - wander but not lost)


It was one of those rare occasions where Chris and I both had the same day off work, so we made plans to meet up. Of course, as is always the case, his free day was rapidly trimmed from all day to just a few hours mid-afternoon, but as I have not talk to him more than a total of 10 minutes over the last two months, I grabbed at the chance to spend a few hours together.

The weather was gorgeous when I left around noon. Chris called to say that he had finished his 65 mile (!!!) bike race and we made plans to meet in about an hour. 30 minutes down the road, I pass a sign. "Freeway closed ahead."

They weren't kidding.

Suddenly, traffic was diverted from the 3 lane highway to a 1 lane, narrow country road that was heading south. The perpendicular direction of where I wanted to be heading. No matter, I'd take one of the east-west routes... only big signs were plastered that those roads were closed further on.

I drove on. And on. And on. And eventually made it out to another highway, where I discovered that I was now as far away from Madison as when I started out.

It took me 3 hours to get to Madison. THREE HOURS.

By the time I got there, found my way downtown (missed a turn, ended up in Oregon), argued about where to meet for lunch, got lost, etc, etc, my afternoon visit turned into a mere hour. We met with a couple of his friends, started to eat lunch.... and then it started to downpour. "Lunch" was spent huddled under an awning, and after the rains slowed, I drove them to their cars, and said goodbye, because they all had to get ready for a dinner that night.

I did manage to get a map this time and we plotted the way back (where I once again missed a major turn). The adventures on the way back were almost as fun. The road I was taking had a washed out bridge...something not mentioned until you were there at the bridge, so I had to back track. At one point, it started dropping torrential rain and hail, so heavy I could barely see the road and the wind was gusting hard enough it almost pulled me off. I did manage to pull over and wait some of it out, but I was concerned that if I waited too long, those rains would cause further washouts, so I crept my way forward, until I made it to the freeway. The east bound freeway was open and I drove it the rest of the way home. There was water from the overflowing rivers on the west side, so really, I'm a little glad that they closed it, although I certainly wasn't feeling that way driving out.

All in all, I put 220 miles on my car, drove over 5 hours, for a hour lunch that got soggy. Somehow, I think it was worth it.

I've missed my friend so much, I don't think I could ever find the words. For four years, he was such a part of my life, that this... "acquaintance"ship where we talk once every couple of months for 20 minutes and don't share anything important is killing me (Sidenote to all of my friends out there who I talk to once a month--it's different. You and I get on the phone and gab for hours. We really catch up on everything. You aren't flitting off to your real life within minutes of getting the update that I'm alive). We do great when we get together in person, that old camaraderie is felt in full force--we tease each other and laugh and it's great. So I'll take any chance I've got to get that back, if even for an hour on a random afternoon.

(More pictures that I took during the trip can be found here. I unfortunately was not able to get the really cool pictures of the rain storm as I was gripping my steering wheel in fear of my life. Just take my word that it was awesome.)
jcd1013: (Med - amelia bodelia)
So, I was right on my call night predictions. I've had such good call nights so far that I knew I was due for a doozy (I swear, I never used to be superstitious before!). We had 3 ICU admissions, my senior medical student's patient almost coded on her and was transferred to the unit, where I once again was reminded how much I dislike this hospital and their "whatever strikes their fancy" way of managing patients. We attempted to get a consult to prevent this patient from actually dying on us... when my student is explaining what happened to this particular consultant, his response: "I don't believe you" over and over again. !!!!! She told me of this particular conversation after she hung up with him or I seriously would have had some words with him. My med student is awesome. As a med student, I so would have had my senior call, but she pluckily does so without a complaint. Luckily this patient didn't die and when the consultant finally dragged his lazy butt to the hospital the next morning, he agreed that the patient was sick and needed urgent intervention. Ya think? Stories like this, has, unfortunately, been a frequent occurrence. *sigh* Patient, by the way, is doing well.

Chris ended up not coming into town, because he wouldn't be able to see me. Yay! Now, I'm trying to figure out when our schedule actually match up, which is of course impossible. His free weekend don't line up with mine. I do have a few actual weekends off coming up in April, May and June, so hopefully, we'll figure out something. I haven't had more than a 5 minute conversation with him in months, so I don't know what we'd talk about for an entire weekend now anyway (I kid).

I slept about 4 hours or so on call and then went and taught Sunday School. Now that was an experience! I was slurring and mispronouncing all kinds of words and I think I repeated myself a couple of times. Luckily, I had had enough time to go home and shower and actually dress up for church so I didn't look as exhausted as I felt. I came home and crashed by 6 and didn't wake up until almost 8 this morning. And I still feel tired. It's rather amazing how my body gets "unused" to being on call and up all night when I go a few weeks without doing so. Going back to the horrors of neuro call in April is not going to be fun.

In other news, the hospital that I work for has established a new policy that all clinic notes have to be done with a month or they start docking from paychecks. Now, for residents this doesn't matter because 1), they hardly pay us anything because they bill it as 40 hours a week rather than than 80 that we really work and 2) it's not a real paycheck, it's a stipend as if I was doing a summer internship selling alarm systems.

But it does matter for the attendings, so all of a sudden, they've been down our backs on getting the clinic notes completed. Which is all fine and dandy, except because of the way that the clinic schedules are set up, there is no time to get the notes done and as I mentioned, I already work 80 hours a week (well except this month. I think I'm closer to forty hours, which is insane when you think about it. On my slow month, I'm working as much as the average American and I feel bored. THIS IS HOW THEY HAVE BRAINWASHED ME. Anyway, continuing...) and I get testy about devoting more time to paperwork. Since I am on a cozy rotation this month, I figured I'd better get them done so I can get some peace. I completed 13 already today and have another 9 to go. Yay progress! Of course I have 5 patients that I'm to see tomorrow morning, so I'll be promptly behind again, but let me bask in my accomplishment for a minute here.

No repeat episodes with possessed, crazed doorbells to report, thank goodness. I'm finally sleeping with the lights off again...

travel bug

Mar. 9th, 2008 10:24 pm
jcd1013: (BTVS - private joke)
Chris called me last night on his way back from Guatemala. I had no idea that he was down there; I though that he was slaving away and too busy to talk, like I was. Words do not exist to express my jealousy. It was really awesome to hear him talk about the places that I had been. He stayed in Antigua, climbed the volcano ( which was erupting!), visited Lake Atílan and went to the markets (where he had a much more enjoyable time than I did, because he's used to the in-your-face bartering-and-begging system than I was).

It was, btw, 4 years exactly when I was Guatemala myself, struggling to learn Spanish, enjoying the 70 degree weather heat, hiking the ruins of Tikal, riding a donkey in the mountains near Antigua, wandering through the cathedrals during Lent and seeing the processionals. I dug up and posted a few of my Guatemala pictures here. Unfortunately, I have lost a bunch of the emails that I had written at the time to document my travels and didn't realize it until now. I had written them on my old school account and I thought I had forwarded most of the messages to my other accounts, but apparently not (and that account is now way beyond defunct). I'm hoping (*hint, hint*) that my family decided to be sentimental and preserved some of those emails, but as we communicated mostly by instant messenger that trip, I'm not sure that they exist any more. I know I emailed Chris on a regular basis, but for the last 2 weeks of my trip, he was in British Columbia and didn't write me. And his school email account is gone now too...

This was the only place that I had been that Chris hadn't, so once again, I've fallen way behind in the world travels race. Drat.

****

In other news of my life, (aka work), the new hospital has certainly proven to be interesting. It 's a private hospital a couple of miles down the road for me, and I feel like I've entered a different world, because things are so different from the academic world that I came from. Here, decisions are made purely by the whim of the attending physician (which never seems to be the same person for more than 2 days in a row) and trying to get the attendings to practice evidence based medicine, well, it's a battle that I don't think I'm going to conquer in the 4 weeks that I'm here. For example, yesterday the admitting physician seemed to have this bias against giving IV fluids. Our team admitted 6 patients over the age of 80 and ALL of them were dehydrated and showing signs of going into renal failure, but I had to fight with this particular attending to give them any fluids at all. I also had to fight for 2 patients coming in with fevers and elevated white counts to get the appropriate antibiotics--I've discovered a little bit of a stubborn streak that I never knew that I possessed.

The positive side of this has been that I finally can see that I have learned something in residency; that I am comfortable in making independent decisions. There's still a ton that I need to learn - it's not like I feel any where comfortable enough to go out on my own yet, and I'm more than grateful that I'll have another 3 years of training before I get to that point, but I have developed the critical skills in that I can look at a patient, their labs and their x-rays and determine if I need to give them fluids. Or (roughly) which antibiotics I need to start them on and so forth. There are certainly areas where I need more guidance and direction, but I don't think that the philosophy here at this hospital (where the interns meet with the attending and he tells them the plan and they scribe it down) is the best way to learn that.

But I certainly am enjoying finishing work and leaving the hospital by 1 or 2 pm on my non-call days. Friends, did you know that there is such thing as a round yellow ball that sits in the sky and gives light and warmth to the world??? Who knew??
jcd1013: (Everwood - Perfect day)
I decided to make a list. I don't know why.

- Crush news (which right now, is ever so much more interesting than patients and their neuroanatomy): He has a freckle on his right ear lobe, and a faint, thin scar down his right middle finger. His hair curls across his forehead (it's such a good thing that these many many years have trained restraint!) and he's had his beard for as long as he's been a resident here (as evidenced by his name badge) which manages to hide a very small dimple and I can't find adjectives to describe his blue eyes. And he has really bad breath post call. Oh, and he owes me big time for doing his discharge summary for him. Am I wonderful or what?

- I had a wonderful weekend. Saturday night, when I woke up from the post call coma, I went to the symphony with one of the neurosurgery residents. Mahler. My dad used to love Mahler, but until Sat. night, I never understood why. I'm now addicted. Absolutely lovely.

- Sunday I went to watch conference at my bishop's house, which is always a spiritually uplifting time. Pres. Hinckley is still looking amazing for his 95+ years. One of the guys there hugged me and reminded me that it was exactly one year since we had met. I had forgotten. I thought that was sweet.

- It was the first day off that Chris and I have had off together in 2 months, so I drove up to Madison and spent the afternoon and evening with him, fixing his bike, eating Vietnamese food, and digging through all of his music collection. I came home with 300+ new songs and all of his pictures from Ireland and Scotland. Scotland was incredibly gorgeous from his pics... I guess I'd better add that back to the list of Must-Go places.

- Chris broke up with his girlfriend. And didn't tell me until I pressed. Okay, I think I overlooked a big dropped hint earlier in the evening, when we were putting together pictures for a framed collage, but still. *sigh* Anyway, we had a great talk sitting on a park bench overlooking the lake. I told him about the many dating woes of the past two months. He thinks I'm missing clues (I think that no reciprocation and avoidance of conversation afterwards speaks volumes). He's thinking about taking up Match.com dating, which I can't wait to see how that goes. :)

- I'm still really bad at music guessing games. Apparently I need to listen to more Phish and Eagle Eyed Cherry(ies?).

-He beat me on the word games as well. The Word of the Day emails are not helping.

-I'm not on call again until Saturday. !!!

-The Seeker has gotten terrible reviews and didn't do so well at the box office. Maybe that will stop any sequels.

-Still can't figure out exactly what you do on Facebook, but at least it lacks the ads and spam of Myspace. Am trying to collect friends like mad over there. Perhaps I will make a trophy wall with all of my friends. I guess I need to add more photos, or so a little bird told me.

-I'm reading New Moon right now, as I finished Twilight a few weeks ago on call (man, I miss the ICU call). Liked Twilight, although spent a majority of the book irritated at the heroine and her love interest. I'm really looking forward to reading this, after mulling over [livejournal.com profile] valancy_s's recent posts about why we go for vampires.

-Congrats to Michelle and Kelly! Maybe, hopefully, I'll be able to see this little one before he/she's 40 (are you going home for Christmas?)

-I love Matchbox Twenty. This new album is just gorgeous as always.

- You all are watching Friday Night Lights, right? You'd better be. Best show on TV right now. I'm watching it online, so what's your excuse?

-Clinic tomorrow. Only 3 patients. Maybe I'll actually finish on time (and possibly get my notes done, that would be amazing).

in trouble

Aug. 7th, 2007 12:25 am
jcd1013: (Write - pen words)
I called up my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I had left a message on her blog, that linked to my other medical blog (which I rarely update), which she brought up. Somehow, I mentioned that that blog wasn't my real blog.

Oops.

Now, she's begging for the address, and soon my whole family will be over here. Which I mind and don't mind at the same time.Opening the blog up to the Plethora was the first hard step, so I've gotten used to having RL friends reading. But, I don't know, it's so hard exposing myself. I mean, I still have never directed Chris to my blog. He knows about it, and I know that [livejournal.com profile] claidheamhmor and [livejournal.com profile] melancthe had told him that he needed to start a blog and get into the LJ thing, but I'm not sure if he ever read mine.Of course, now he's too busy to browse the internet, so I can talk all kinds of smack about him. And I'm afraid that it would stilt my carefree writings having family here and I'd slowly drift away from LJ. It's nice to have a place where I write without thinking how it's going to be interpreted.

So of course, this means it's poll time.
poll time )
jcd1013: (XF - Partners)
There's a reason that I keep Chris around. :) It never fails that when I'm frustrated with the male species, infuriated at being ignored, tearing myself apart because I'm not pretty enough, charming enough, slender enough and too "smart" to be attractive to anyone, he comes and reminds me that while I might not have the romantic aspect, I have at least one guy who thinks I'm important enough to make me a priority in his life. It's kinda nice to be reminded that it's not entirely me that's the problem.

We went out for Indian food and then to a movie (Bourne Ultimatum, which was fabulous. Seriously. Matt Damon is hot (36 and not one crowfoot wrinkle. I was checking) and I want Julia Stiles' hair), so I guess I did get my date and male company after all. :)

Jared did finally get back to me today. By text message. Which I think is the lamest, cop-out way of communication ever invented. What a great way to tell the other person that you're not even worth a 5 minute phone conversation. I think this will be the last time I ask him to anything. I'm going to still try to find someone for Friday night, but pickings are slim in my ward so we'll see how it goes.
jcd1013: (LOTR - Hands of a Healer)
I'm so tired of being sick. I'm on day 7 of the Killer Virus and it really hasn't gotten much better. The fevers/chills/hallucinations are thankfully gone but I've still got the burning throat, aching ears and hacking cough and the Dayquill aint' doing nothing. If I didn't know in my little doctor heart since I don't have a fever, exudate, lymphadepathy I don't have a serious infection, I'd seriously be considering writing myself some antibiotics. And possibly some guaifenesin with codeine. I splurged on NyQuil since I finally will be able to sleep in tomorrow. Hopefully, a full night of sleep will turn me into a new person. But I swear, if it doesn't improve by morning, I'm going to be one of those awful people and drop by the ER for a nonemergency, to get a rapid strep done.

Chris call this morning with the offer of visiting. I looked around at my pile of used kleenex (a word to the snifflers. Splurge on lotioned, brand name Kleenex. Your nose will thank you), dishes and dirty clothes and begged off. :( Hopefully he'll have the entire weekend off next weekend and we'll find a festival or something to experience.

I lurched myself off the couch at some point and tracked down a Oriental market, where I have bought supplies so that I can make Tom Kha Gai soup, Larb, Chicken Saab, and Chicken Masala and fresh spring rolls over the next several days. So excited. Why the sudden urge for Thai/Indian food?? While I've been convalescing, I've gotten pretty involved in reading this blog: Six in the World, which is about a fix who took a year off and travelled around the world, which sounded pretty amazing. As in, I almost started planning my trip, until reality set in again. Yeah, won't be doing that for many more years to come. I started getting really hungry when they were talking about all of the great Thai food and the Thai cooking classes, which caused me to remember the spices that Chris had brought back for me from Thailand and the recipes from his cooking lessons... so now I'll be making Thai food and experimenting with Indian. Yummy!

And the last thing, before I drift off (hopefully) in drug-induced sleep. I have an infestation of fruit flies. Darn things are smaller than the holes in my screens. Any ideas of how to get rid of them??
jcd1013: (Big Fish - Daffodils)
I did not end up getting a permanent account. I was really having a hard time justifying the expense of it and kept putting it off. I did convince myself yesterday that maybe it wasn't that much money, but I was on call and that didn't leave any opportunities to slip away.

I think I probably would have regretted it. I had been counting on the end of the year bonus from work so that I could indulge a bit and discovered that Uncle Sam had taken 40% of it, leaving me with less than what it's going to cost to take get my medicine license, so I can't even afford that, which is much more important in the long run. I'm so tired of money issues, so wearied. I was really hoping that with the very small cost of living raise that some of the money pressures that I've been drowning in for the last six months would ease, but taxes and insurance are going to suck that all away as well.

*sigh*

On a good note, I've completed my last call ever as an intern! Whee! Of course, things really aren't going to be that much different next year. When I'm in the neurology department, I'll be a "junior resident" which is really the exact same thing as an intern (still the low man on the totem pole) and when I'm on my medicine rotations, I'll still have to take call as a senior resident (just not as frequent and I won't have to write daily notes! Yay!).

And I just realized how confusing my life must be to those of you who actually read this thing. And that I've never explained what I'm doing. I have a tendency to assume that people can read my mind, and are really living my life with me (I should have probably outgrown that belief when I was, I don't know 15 months old. I'm a little behind) So allow for a brief detour.

explainin' stuff here )

I'm not exactly sure what I was trying to say before. :) Next time, I think I'll do a "Day in the Life" kinda post if there was any interest in it.

I crashed, as is my usual, post-call. Chris called while I was asleep, to tell me that he had the afternoon and tomorrow off and wanted to come down for the weekend...and I missed the call and didn't wake up until after 8, so that thwarted those plans. :( I'm really disappointed as I don't know when days off will line up again. Plus, I missed my church's BBQ and seeing other friends. I don't know how people with kids do it; I come home post call absolutely wiped out; I can't imagine just taking a tiny nap and then parenting the rest of the day. And I wake up almost nauseated and completely disoriented. Today, once the spinning sensations and nausea passed, I got on the internet to try to download the latest episode of Dr. Who and couldn't figure out why nobody was talking about it... until it hit me that it is actually Friday.

And on a completely unrelated note, iTunes keeps cycling through the LOST soundtrack and I'm kinda getting nostalgic for season 1.
jcd1013: (M*A*S*H - friendship)
Last week, when I looked at the nice neat row of blue boxes on my mini calendar, I thought to myself, "Self," (and then I giggled because I rarely speak to myself as a proper noun), "you know what would be a great goal? To fill that little calendar box with blue boxes. To write a little something every day." And I was cheered and excited by the plan, and made little ideas of what I would write.

And then of course, I'm on call. And at the hospital until 10 at night. And somehow living a life. And lo, 5 days passed, and there went that idea. It was fun while it lasted. :) At least I didn't post that lame idea here. I figured that if all of you read that I was going to say something every day for 30 days, you'd run away screaming and I'd be promptly DEFRIENDED. I just couldn't bear that.

Does everybody note the little happy, lilting tone to my voice? Notice that the gloom and doom has left the building? Yep, it's true. Things have definitely gotten better. I'm down to 3 patients (who I can't seem to discharge); one of my difficult patients I discharged a few days ago, the other has yelled at me every single morning (and every other person who walked into the room... I stopped taking it personally). I've been finalizing plans to send her home for about 5 days now, today I walked in and she actually apologized and smiled, so I think I won her over as well! My favorite patient was here for clinic today, which was nice (someone that I've actually been able to help a little). So all in all... things are better. :)

details about my little life )

And that's what I've been up. I feel like I just wrote a "What I did on my summer vacation" essay (I think it was probably that exciting to read as well).

Thanks to everybody for their replies to my past entries! I loved the books/movies and the hugs! *smooshes flist and friends* I really enjoyed all of the responses!!

So next random, audience participation question:

If you were to be convince to perform karaoke, which song would you perform? I honestly would have sung last Thursday, but I couldn't think of a song that stayed in the right voice range and was the right type of upbeat and catchy. Because, while I'm willing to risk a little bit of mock, I'd rather be greeted by cheers and whistles at the end than boos. I'd like to hear suggestions for my next performance. :)
jcd1013: (LOTR - paths to tread)
I almost started crying at work today. Tears of frustration mostly, at my patients who aren't getting any easier to deal with, at being tired (stayed up too late), and to top of matters, being told right as I was leaving an hour early that I had to stay because the rest of my team had taken off, the overnight intern was in clinic, and therefore, I was the only one in the hospital and had to stay until the intern got back. It was just too much. Luckily, one of my colleagues was willing to cover and I headed home. I'm so weary of this month. Weary and ready to be done. And I'm only a third of the way through the month.

But I'm not on call again until Saturday, I should be discharging most of my patients by then, which I am really looking forward to. I took a nap this afternoon (yes, I do find it pathetic that I get off early and I spend it sleeping). And best of all, I got that hug that I so desperately needed, from the one that I really wanted it from, and dinner and a movie, and I now have a friend from home in the same state as me, so things are definitely getting better. :)

We went and saw Ocean's Thirteen, which was a gazillion times better than Twelve. Many even better, since I don't recall anything that happened in Twelve. A really, good, engaging time, much like the first one, and definitely the light hearted fun that I was needing. So, highly recommended if you liked the first one.

And I think that's it. I'm trying to have my friends over for dinner on Wednesday, we'll see if it happens. But I'll need to spend tomorrow night cleaning my living room (I did manage to get my kitchen, bathroom and bedroom cleaned before Chris's surprise visit, so at least that's done) and putting together the bookshelf and drawers that I bought months ago. It'll be the first time that I've entertained at my place. I'm rather excited. I hope it goes well.
jcd1013: (Default)
It has been one hard week.

My trip to Ireland just about fell through. I found out on Monday that I had been scheduled for jeopardy call (meaning that if someone called in sick or had another type of emergency, I would be pulled from my regular rotation to cover) smack dab in the middle of my vacation.... See, my vacation was scheduled a year ago, for the last week of May. When Chris and I started discussing meeting up at the end of his travels, we decided that it would be best for all involved if it was the first week of May, instead of the last. Since I knew I was going to be on Neurology that month, I discussed it with my Neuro program director, he said that would be no problem, and I made the switch, contacted my clinic, found someone to cover my phone calls, etc. It wasn't until about a month later that it dawned on me that I should ask Internal Medicine's permission as well, because of the possibility of being pulled for jeopardy. I had already purchased my ticket by that point, so I meekly emailed them, told them what I had done and stated that I would be willing to do jeopardy any other time that month (except Laura's wedding. I also didn't exactly ask for their permission on that either....) and didn't hear back from them. Not a word. I assumed, naively, I guess, that it meant that they had no problem.

Until of course, I opened up that schedule. I pretty much haven't eaten all of this week, I've been absolutely sick with how I was going to fix this and dreading the repercussions when I told them that I was NOT going to be canceling my vacation over this.

Luckily, I received another email today, switching my week of Jeopardy call to the end of the month. It does mean that I won't be able to go down to see Susan and her baby that weekend as planned, but we arranged things so I'll be going down for a shorter time this weekend.

Oh the joys of being in two programs at once! I'm still rather upset that I found out a week before about the scheduling conflict, when it states in the official policy that you'll know your jeopardy schedule several months in advance. Even if I had had just a month, I could have at least not felt quite so pressured to get it resolved now. I'm still somewhat on edge, waiting for someone to say "no" and mess it up again.

***
I went shopping for a skirt for Laura's wedding today. Apparently spring is the wrong time to find a plain black skirt. Add to the shopping joy that instead of losing weight like I had hoped over the last two months, I've gained at least 10 pounds since November and weigh the most I ever have and jumped up yet another size. I did find some cute shirts that made me feel a little better about myself, but ugh.

****
Vienna Teng's coming to concert in Chicago tomorrow. I had actually asked a boy to go with me... and he turned me down (had a good excuse, true). It's okay. The relationship with him has been turning into exactly every other relationship I have with men: friends only. I'm just frustrated, frustrated that I am close to 30 and still playing the dating games of a 16 year old.

I had decided to go by myself anyway, to treat myself after this week... only to find out, as I clicked to buy tickets that it's sold out. I could do the 10 o'clock show, but then I wouldn't be back to Milwaukee until 3 in the morning... not good. So much for that.

***
Chris got back from his "bush adventures" across the southern part of Africa today and is now in Johannesburg. And I haven't heard from him yet. *chews lip in worry* I'm sure he's fine (I wouldn't worry if it had been any other week, but sad to say, I do get a tad superstitious once in a while). Hopefully, he'll be meeting up with [livejournal.com profile] claidheamhmor and [livejournal.com profile] melancthe in the next couple of days. I do hope that it all comes together and you have a lot of fun!

Anyway, must to bed. Another exciting day awaits me. *sigh*
jcd1013: (Default)
You know your life is pretty pathetic when the thought that you have to get up a half hour early to shower is making you want to cry.

I fell asleep at 6 pm last night and woke up at 6. I didn't even hear my phone ring (Chris, but I'm kinda mad at him right now, since he's taken bloody forever to figure out his Africa trip, meaning that I have no idea when the Ireland meet up is going to take place, and tickets are dirt cheap now. A couple more days and they'll be gone and then I'll be royally pissed.) My body apparently needed the sleep. So why am I denying it now to write this, hmmm?
jcd1013: (Everwood-Perfect day Hannah by me)
The year of 2006 is now dead, settled into his grave, as the New Year now takes over reign. But, as is my nature, I could hardly let him go without a eulogy.

Highlights, month by month (with pictures! Lots and lots and lots of pictures) )

The New Year started much as the last one faded away... with going to working and being at the hospital. Cardiology wards--promises to be even more fun and stress.

A Happy New Year to all of my friends. I am so eternally grateful that you have decided to share your lives with me. With your friendship, your love and support, I am enriched and blessed.

*hugs*

ETA: Don't ask me why some of the pictures are different sizes. I didn't do it! And if you're reading this and are one of the featured, and don't want to be, let me know. I'm sure I can dig up lots of monkeys and baboons to use instead. (j/k).
jcd1013: (BTVS-W/X private joke by watcher_junior)
The day spent in Chicago with Chris was almost, almost enough to wipe away all of the taint from my evil resident and this horrible week.

I'm not quite ready for Monday, but at least I won't be throwing things at my poor defenseless alarm clock.

Plus, I only have two days left with him, really only a day and a half, since he is on call tomorrow, and therefore will be leaving by noon on Tuesday. It's survivable.

Thanks for all the well wishes and support. Don't worry, I wasn't too injured by my resident's behavior--I've know that he was a jerk and more since the first time I worked with him in August (and the repeat verse is so much worse than the first). He's a hypocrite and a very unpleasant person (except to patients.. he belittles me (it's subtle, but it's there) when we're in the room together, but he's as sweet as baklava to them, so now I have a couple of my patients asking me to leave during family conferences or doing procedures. Gee thanks). But this will be the last time I will ever have to interact with him for an extended period of time.

I think I rather like Chicago, tall buildings and all, and probably will now make time to go and visit on spare weekends.

This was the last time I'll see Chris, or anybody from home, until at least May. So maybe I'm not as entirely happy as the mood there suggests.
jcd1013: (Default)
It's so hard going to bed after a day off... Going to bed means the day has ended and tomorrow another day at work begins.

I'm worn out from work. I've been carrying 8-10 patients for a week now, discharging one, only to collect another 3...or a bouceback, a patient that I had only just discharged. The Q3 call (call every three nights) for 3 straight calls bled me dry and I'm only now recovering, only to face another call (my last!) on Wednesday. All things come to an end... Thursday will be the end of this rotation, just in time for me to move back to neurology with the three pagers and even more painful calls. (But on the plus side, another 2+ weeks in the NICU! yay!)

I tried to spend the day doing things around the house, namely scrapping paint off the wall again. It is excruciatingly slow, and I'm getting frustrated. I want to be done! I want my room to be pretty and painted brightly in one color that I picked out, not still finding deeper layers of paint below the salmon pink.

Plus, Chris is coming to visit in a week. One week from tomorrow. Guh. How could it have come up so quickly? He's doing an interview tour, and I'll only get to spend like twenty minutes with him, but it's twenty minutes more than the usual. He'll stay the night on Tuesday and hopefully find someway to entertain himself while I'm at work and then we'll meet up before he takes off for the next destination. I'm hoping to get off early... I found out the exact days he was coming too late and I can't get the day off. The plan is to then meet him in Chicago for the weekend.... I've avoided going to Chicago like the plague, but I don't think I'm going to be successful this time. Anybody with any suggestions of what to do there?

In any case, I want things ready when he comes, show off my pretty house, and that doesn't look like it's going to happen. *sigh*

Nonmedical update on the rest of my life upcoming, I promise.
jcd1013: (Anne - Big Words by eponine119)
Chris and I play word games all of the time, an old habit fostered in the early days of our friendship. Sometimes, it's a matter of dropping impressive words into conversation (I think we probably annoy those around us because we're constantly interrupting to state "oh, good word!" to the one that succeeds). Other times, we play passing synonyms back and forth (sometimes with the same letter to make it even more difficult!) until one (usually it is he) is declared the winner.

Because of this, I've rediscovered my dictionary and thesaurus. Probably something that I should have done a long time ago (would have helped my pronunciation of all of those latin medical words, as I was never hooked on phonics. I can spell, but I can't speak), but better late than never. It's not that I have a poor vocabulary (despite how I sound here in LJ), but in the moment, the specific words rarely come to me and I end u saying things like "it's lots of fun" and sounding like I'm ten. So I'm striving to improve that, by integrating the new vocabulary as I learn it (another lesson I should have learned from grade school!) And I'm always on the hunt for good words to speckle conversations.

Tonight's word came from reading a patient's medical record, where in the general physical portion, the doc described the patient as "loquacious." He was obviously an attending--the medical resident on call possesses few brain cells more than required to just write "alert, oriented and in good health"--finding that just perfect adjective to describe how the patient is interacting with you requires high brain function only obtained with a well rested mind.

Nonetheless, I've filed the word away, awaiting with baited breath to drop it in conversation with Chris. Because this will impress his socks off. :)

**yes, I am posting at 4 in the morning, because my dear resident and attending allowed me to go home four hours early. Sweet! And now it is to bed. I have my house to tackle tomorrow (er... today)

sick

Sep. 30th, 2006 10:27 pm
jcd1013: (Default)
I've got that bleak, almost sick feeling to my stomach tonight. Guilt. About everything that I should have done with the accident yesterday and didn't. Worry that it's going to mess everything up with my insurance. Even though there's nothing that I can do about it now, it still is making me ill.

Add to the fact that Chris now tells me that he'll be gone 3-4 days of the week that I'm going home. He forgot when I was coming, even though I've told him every time I've talked to him the last month. Lonely. And Liz will be gone for a few days as well. I wonder why I'm even bothering going. I've been looking forward to this, forever, finally being home and with the people that I've missed and it's not going to be anything.

New rotation tomorrow. ER. Haven't exactly decided if I'm looking forward to it or not. Lots of days off. 8 hour shift work, both are pluses. But it'll be busy and stressful. And right now, I'm just not wanting that.
jcd1013: (M*A*S*H-friendship by nentari)
Days off are the most wonderful things in the entire world.

Especially when they are filled with the company of a dearly loved, old roommate. Allison and I didn't do anything real exciting, but I showed off my house and we hung my pictures, so it looks a little more like a home and I got to sleep in (until 10:30. It was bliss) and it was just wonderful. She lives close(r), so there are promises of repeated adventures.

I can't wait for my next day off!

Especially since it promises to be even better, as Chris is finally coming home!! I won't get to see him, but oh, the mere thought of talking to him, hearing his voice, is sheer bliss. Am very, very excited. :D :D :D
jcd1013: (Default)
So, per my suggestion, Chris has been keeping a travel blog, which has been great fun reading and "seeing" what he's experiencing (Google has never gotten such a workout before!). Mind you, on his last trips, I was lucky to get an email a week--and most of those were 3 lines long, so this has been a nice change.

I emailed Chris early early Tuesday morning, he responded later that morning (there's a 14 hour time difference), I wrote back and then have commented on virtual every one of his posts. Today I got this whiny email (and I mean that in the nicest way possible) about how everybody's reading his blog and nobody's writing him now. ROFL! I've turned my friend into a comment fiend!! He will never be able to escape the siren lure of the blogging world now!

****
On a side related note... he knows I keep a blog, and now that he has one, I know that I'm going to start getting some questions about it (or he'll start searching for it, which is not hard to find if you know me well). Which is making me nervous. It was hard enough opening up my LJ to the Plethora, but that has actually been really nice--I love knowing that Michelle and AJ and sometimes Liz and whoever else that reads and hasn't told me are keeping up to date with my life (although I still need to do better about writing emails to the Pleth--I'm horribly, unforgivably lazy about that). But opening it up to the person who's been involved in half of the stories and who features prominently in the telling of those stories? Beyond scary. I have no idea how he would react--I don't know how I'm going to react!

For now, I've decided that he's too busy traveling and cavorting to locate my journal, so I can relax for a while... but I'll have to make the decision before I move of whether I'm just going to give him the location...or go through and make everything friends only again (old stuff, new posts would still be mostly public).

****
Both Sam and Susan are in town, which had me giddy with anticipation all last week and I've barely seen either of them. Sus and I were to spend all day Friday and most of Thursday together, but something happened in Chicago and they cancelled all the flights on Thursday, so she didn't come in until later on Friday. We hung out and went to a barbeque, but we didn't really get a chance to do a good heart-to-heart chat that I've been longing for.

Sam, on the other hand, is in the area helping move her mom and as always, with every visit of hers, there's been unexpected drama, this time involving her sister, which meant she left for Idaho much earlier than anticipated, and so I might be lucky to see her tomorrow afternoon as they pull the Uhaul out of town. *mourns*
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